A flower in the field all alone may not be the one to grow.

She is trying hard to achieve the one important thing in her life, but all she has is the past that hurts and makes her cry.

The one thing in her life everyone tells her around is to be the good flower that grows till she dies.

She listens and obeys everyone around, but herself, she wants to grow, wants to show that she can be the biggest flower around.

What she doesn’t realize is that she’s slowly falling apart, losing herself, her own words, trying not to give up and disappoint everyone else.

What this little big flower doesn’t realize is that these words are made up by herself; she’s the one trying to impress everyone else – all the other flowers that don’t even know.

She’s trying to cover up her scars from the past by improving her own self, trying to grow to the sky not understanding it’s hurting herself.

She’s trying to hide from her own thoughts, not listening to her mind that tells her it’s enough; she’s running away, running away from her own, escaping the light that is right behind her, running in the deep dark that feels like home.

That flower that is lost in her own, that doesn’t want to perceive all the others around, wanting to help, wanting to show that she’s expecting too much, wanting to get herself back on the ground, feeling helpless cause all she sees is the failure she doesn’t want to come. 

All the love and trust she gets, not wanting to disappoint them, wanting to show the other flowers that she’s able to get above everyone else – herself not being aware of how much she’s destroying herself, not realizing that she will never reach the sky if she keeps pushing like that.

The one flower in the field that feels all alone, stuck in her own thoughts and expectations not being able to grow. 

She’s her own biggest enemy, trying to hide her face, scars and thoughts not showing her weaknesses, her failure she deep down has.

That one flower that has all the help to grow: the sun, the rain, the soil and still: feels like she has to do it on her own.

This stupid flower that deep down knows it’s enough, that she’s doing good, that she will reach the sky if she just wouldn’t hide in the dark.

That broken flower that will never be able to grow cause she’s standing right in front of her own, inhibiting her own silhouette, forgetting all the happiness she truly has.

Keeping her own expectations high, lost in her thoughts, losing her own self just because she wants to be bigger than everyone else. 

The flower that won’t grow as long as she doesn’t see the problem that’s surrounding herself, the darkness that she is in that will never let her go.

That one little, big flower that may seem all alone not realizing that if she would know, would become the biggest flower and help others to grow. 

the end.

text by michele h.